When I had journeyed half of our life's way,
I found myself within a shadowed forest,
for I had lost the path that does not stray.
(Allen Mandelbaum)
I like this version of the first 3 lines, because of the image of the "shadowed forest". The fact that lines 1 and 3 rhyme gives the translation a feeling of rhythm.
Half-way upon the journey of our life
I roused to find myself within a forest
In darkness, for the straight way had been lost.
(Henry Johnson)
I like this version as well, because it conveys the feeling of how the narrator suddenly comes to a start, realizing that he is within a forest in complete darkness.
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